Stretch Mark Miracle!

Generally, most people attribute having stretch marks to someone who is either overweight or had been pregnant. What they fail to realize is stretch marks on the skin may also occur during puberty, a time when an individual experiences rapid growth. Unfortunately, I was one of those people who incurred stretch marks through puberty. Because of this, I always felt self-conscious of my body.

Being young and naive, I was only a size 5 but always felt overweight because I had strech marks on my buttocks, inner and outer thighs, and even on my calves! I never wore shorts or anything shorter than capri lengthed pants and skirts. Not to mention, none of my friends (who happened to be heavier than I was) had stretch marks. This caused me to have a distorted body image; I was viewing myself as heavier than I actually was. My reasoning: if I had stretch marks, but my much plumper friends didn't have stretch marks, then I guess I must be bigger than they are. Otherwise, why would they not have stretch marks? Obviously, I know now that my reasoning was incorrect.

How unlucky it is to be a healthy size, never have been pregnant, yet have such hideous marks on my body? I couldn't believe that many of my luckier friends didn't know that one could get stretch marks just from puberty. For years, I hid my legs, embarrassed by my scars. I tried countless amounts of expensive creams, claiming to reduce the look of stretch marks, to no avail. One day, I decided enough was enough. No more hiding! I worked too hard at keeping my body fit and looking good to hide it from the world, just because of these hideous marks. I started wearing shorts and just didn't care anymore.
 
One day, I stumbled upon a Youtube video from Tonyatko proclaiming that she was able to rid of her stretch marks with a simple cream. She was nice enough to share this secret with us, which was actually quite simple and easy to replicate: unrefined shea butter and olive oil. "Unrefined" meaning the shea butter has not been stripped of all its nutrients. You can find her video on Youtube.

Despite my skepticism, I went out and bought olive oil and ordered shea butter from an online source (it was quite inexpensive, after all) and mixed my own formula, following her instructions. I diligently rubbed the stuff all over my legs everyday. To my surprise, after a few weeks, the stretch marks on my inner thigh had dimished. I wish I had taken photos before to show you the difference, but it actually worked! Of course, you can't get rid of stretch marks due to the fact that they are scars, but you can definitely diminish their visibility. Over time, I have modified the recipe to make it more effective. If you want to try this yourself, here is what you will need:

You can order your unrefined shea butter from an online source. Shop around to find the best deals. It MUST be unrefined shea butter. I order mine from this website called summitcraft-oh.com but you can get yours from anywhere. I buy from them because they are cheap and the product arrives quickly. I usually get 2lbs at a time. This amount lasts at least a year for me. While you're at it, you can also order a 1 or 2 ounce size of essence oil. You might not like the smell of the shea butter so using essence oil will help with the scent. I buy grapefruit essence oil but you can buy the scent that you like. You will also need a 16 ounce size frosted plastic or glass container. The container needs to be frosted to protect the cream from sunlight, which causes it to deteriorate and lose its nutrients faster. Lastly, you will need grapeseed oil. I have found that grapeseed oil is more potent than olive oil. This can be found at any supermarket or specialty store but I have found it at Costco for a great price. For the formula to be even more effective, you must exfoliate. You can use whatever you want to exfoliate with but I use a natural loofah. You can also order this online for cheap. Tonyatko sells them on her website but I have also found them even cheaper on Amazon. Here is how to create your cream:

Start a steamer pot on the stove. Get a glass bowl or measuring cup and put it on the steamer (ceramic will also do).  I use a glass measuring cup with a wide mouth and narrow bottom because it's easier to measure the ingredients out and also keeps the water droplets from dripping into the shea butter. Take a few chunks of shea butter and place it in the measuring cup. Let it melt. The ratio of the shea butter to oil should be about 3:1. Meaning three parts shea butter to one part grapeseed oil. I usually melt one cup of shea butter and then add 1/3 cup of the oil. Once all of your shea butter has melted, take your glass off the steamer and turn off the stove. You can then add your grapeseed oil. This is also the time to add your essence oil (a few drops will do, don't overdo it). Pour this into your frosted plastic or glass container. You can mix it if you like but the pouring action pretty much mixes the ingredients up. Let stand for a few days. Do not cover with the lid until after 24 hours. Your cream should harden in about three to four days. The consistency should feel like body butter but if it feels harder than that, it will be fine. If after a few days, your formula still looks liquidy, just mix it with a wooden stick or something and give it a few more days. If after a week, it is still liquidy, it will be fine and can be used. It will eventually become harder after a few uses. To apply:

Remember to exfoliate with the loofah before every use to ensure optimum results. You can use the cream everyday but every other day is good enough. Just be sure to only exfoliate every other day. It's important to not overexfoliate. Apply liberally to affected areas and all over your body if you like. Just don't apply to your face or other areas that are prone to breakouts. I usually exfoliate in the shower, dry my skin with a towel and then apply the cream. After you apply the cream, you can get dressed. Don't wait for your skin to dry because it will take forever. You should see your stretchmarks diminish over time, depending on the size and severity of the stretch marks. Remember, this cream only dimishes the appearance of stretch marks. Stretch marks cannot be erased as it is a scarring of the skin.

If, by chance, you are too lazy or just don't have time to make this cream yourself. You can just go to Tonya's website and order it from her. I usually make it myself because it's much cheaper. Be patient because this takes time. Take a picture and then take pictures over time to see the changes. If you happen to be unlucky and this cream does not work for your stretch marks, at least you will still have soft, healthy, and glowing skin.

Good luck! Hopefully, this cream will work as well for you as it did for me. Tip: the shea butter is also good for healing sunburns, scars and other skin ailments. Just don't use it for acne. Remember to continue using this cream even after your stretch marks disappear to keep them away.

What's the Deal with Tipping?

I've always wondered who set the standard for tipping when dining at restaurants. Somehow, it doesn't make sense to me. So it's recommended that you tip at least 15% of the total bill. But how did they come up with that number and why do we have to base the amount off the total bill? Not only this, but they suggest that the minimum should be 15%, no less, regardless of the quality of  service. 

So even if the waiter or waitress did a bad job, we shouldn't punish them by reducing their tip? What do you suggest I do then? Go online and Yelp about my bad experience? Yeah, that'll show 'em. Ask to talk to the manager? I don't know about you but I'm very passive aggressive so talking to the manager would be the last thing I would want to do.  

In one experience, all the waitress did was take our order and bring us our food and drinks. After that, she never bothered to even check up on us. She didn't even come refill our water. Excuse me? I have to give her 15% for doing her job?! The least she could've done was refill the water. This is one of my pet peeves. My water better be refilled regularly or I'm subtracting tip.

Some people may excuse the waitress's behaviour because she is also responsible for other things that we don't see such as: setting and stocking the tables, making sure everything is sanitary, and cleaning before or after closing hours. Well when I worked at McDonald's in high school, I had to clean the tables, stock the cups and napkins, prep the food, clean the bathrooms, etc., all while maintaining good customer service. I didn't expect any tips from it. You know why? Because it was my job to do all those things! So if a waiter wants to get a good tip, they better go above and beyond for the customer, not just do the minimum. And then there's the issue of tipping based on the total amount of the bill.

OK. So we know that fish and seafood is usually more expensive than say, chicken or beef. So if I ordered one $20 dish of the seafood instead of the $10 dish of chicken, I'm gonna have to pay more tip for the seafood versus the chicken? What did the waiter do any different to deserve more tip for my more expensive meal? And even if the waiter has to tip the busser and the cooks at the end of the night, what did ANYONE do differently to deserve that extra money? I don't understand! Maybe the difference is in the way the dishes are prepared? Maybe the seafood dish is more complex? If anything, seafood is easier to cook because they have a faster cooking time.

In California, where I live, the server gets paid minimum wage and then earn tips on top of that. So if they work at an expensive restaurant, they can make a pretty good living. Wow! What a great gig considering you don't need any special skills (except maybe an extreme tolerance for stupid people) or education to do the job to begin with. They're making way more than minimum wage, which is more than they deserve. Why should I have to pay even more for them to live comfortably? I don't get tipped for doing my job well.

Sometimes I get mad at myself, or my bf, when we get crappy service and we still tip 15%. WTF is wrong with us?! We're pretty good customers because we're not picky and are fuss free. We don't even complain when they get our order wrong or if the food is nasty. So we're pretty easy to please. If your service disappoints us, you must really suck.

Now they're saying that the standard should be 20%. Really?! In this economy? Fuck that! If I'm going to give you 20%, you better have done something to blow me away. Sorry, but that's my hard earned money and I'm not gonna give it away for nothing. And if I feel your service was so bad to warrant no tip at all from me, then that's what you're gonna get. If your job is so hard and you feel you're underpaid then you're quite free to pursue a different occupation.

Low Maintenance in a High Maintenance Way

I would like to think that I am a low maintenance person. I'm not one of those girls who needs a 2 hour advance notice to go somewhere because she needs that much time to get ready. And when we're having a girls night out, I'm usually the first one done.  I only wear makeup to work just to look professional and even then, I wear a minimal amount of it (usually just primer, mineral foundation and sometimes lip gloss). I'll also wear makeup on very special occassions. On a typical day, my max prep time is usually 30 minutes (a lot of that time is spent looking for something to wear).

This may sound gross but in elementary and high school, I used to go to sleep in the same outfit that I was going to wear to school the next day because I wanted to get the maximum amount of sleep possible. I started working right when I turned 16 so sleep was very important to me at that time. It used to boggle my mind in high school when I hear about girls who would wake up at 4 in the morning just so they can have enough time to get ready for school. WTF?! Conceited much? So yeah. I'm pretty low maintenance.

I want to attribute my low maintenance attitude to the fact that I just don't care about what people think of me. But then I would be lying. I'm low maintenance because I'm lazy. I'm just too lazy to take the time to try look good. I've gotten so lazy that I'll actually spend money just so I can be even lazier.

I have gotten procedures like Lasik for my eyes so I wouldn't have to wear glasses or contacts, to laser hair removal so that I wouldn't have to shave every day. These procedures cost money but I am willing to pay it because they make my life easier. It's one less thing I have to do every day. So you see, even though I'm generally low maintenance, it's in a high maintenance kind of way because I'm willing to spend the money if it saves me time.

Erotic Novels Equal Porn for Women!

With the increasing popularity of erotic novels (novels consisting of graphic and detailed sex scenes) like 50 Shades of Grey, one might wonder why this genre has been so popular among women. The advent of e-books has made it easier for women to read these books discreetly, thus, increasing their sales. So why are these books so popular?

I don't know about you, but reading these books is like a guy's version of watching porno. I don't care much for watching porn because it's basically the same sex over and over again. It gets quite boring and dull quickly. And then there's the soft core stuff. The storyline and acting in these flicks are so corny that it seems more like a comedy than anything remotely sexual. Lastly, there's the annoyed boyfriend factor. I hate to admit it, but my boyfriend hates watching porn with me. This is because I do more talking than watching. I would say things like, "What's up with her hair? It does not look cute at all" or "That's a cute outfit. I wonder where she got it" and "OMG! His thing is SO huge! That looks painful (puts on a disgusted face)." I guess it's annoying and ruins any potential for arousal for my boyfriend.

But erotic novels have all the elements that attract women: a storyline that may or may not be believable but grabs the reader's attention, and steamy yet arousing sex scenes. Furthermore, when it comes to reading novels, there are elements of the story that are left to the reader's imagination and since no two people are alike, the story may be different for everyone who is reading it.  

I've enjoyed reading these types of novels for a long time, even during my teenage years. I never read them as much though, because I was too embarrassed to let people know that I was into these types of stories. But since e-books have come out, I can read all I want without feeling like I'm being judged. E-books allow privacy. With the Kindle app for my phone, I'm able to read my books anywhere, public or otherwise, without anyone knowing.

I must admit that I do read these books in public a lot. I can't help but feel ashamed sometimes for reading them in such an open environment. Occassionally, I even look around and hide my phone while reading because I'm paranoid about someone looking over my shoulders and catching me reading something so naughty. I can't help but think that I'm the only one who feels this way.

As I was saying, with e-books, women can enjoy the ease of accessing and reading erotic novels while remaining inconspicuous. No more having to go to the bookstore or library to get a book and risk being judged by the clerk. No more having to order the books online and having to pay shipping charges. And no more having to hide the cover of the book you're reading to avoid curious questions from nosy people. Alas! Us women are free to enjoy our porn at our own discretion.

Why Asians are Overly Obsessed with Asian Celebrities

During the Jeremy Lin phenomenon, my boyfriend could not understand why all these asians were going crazy over him. Even people who don't watch basketball were getting on the Jeremy Lin bandwagon. It really annoyed him that this was happening because he couldn't understand why.

Well, the explanation is quite simple. Asians are severely under-represented in Hollywood and the media. There are plenty of white, black and hispanic actors and celebrities. But there are not very many asians. I can't speak for the whole asian community, but when there is an asian actor, athlete, singer, etc., I would want to show my support for them. 

Of course, my BF would never understand this (he's not asian) because he's used to seeing his people on T.V. all the time. So, it's no big deal for him. I, on the other hand, have grown up with American media that has been void of asians for far too long. And when asians do get cast in roles, they are often typecast as characters who know Kung-Fu or some type of martial arts (i.e. Jackie Chan and Jet-Li). What's up with that?

Because of these stereotypical roles, the perception of asians by other ethnic groups are skewed. My BF actually thought I knew Karate when we first started dating. Whaa?!! I should've ended the relationship right then and there! haha. I may not know Karate but from the words of Madea, "I know whoop yo' ass!"

As I was saying, I am more inclined to watch a show or movie with asian characters, especially main characters, in order to support them. It doesn't matter if they're Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese or any other kind of asian. If there's an asian, I'm watching it.

Hawaii 5-O? I'm there! Nikita? You bet your ass I'll be watching (I know Maggie Q is only half asian, but she still counts). Herald and Kumar? Hells yeah! Once Hollywood sees that asians can bring in viewers, then there will be more roles for asian actors in Hollywood. It's as simple as that.

Name Change Dilemma

So my BF and I have been together for almost five years now and the discussion of marriage has come up a few times. Our discussions about this topic usually gets nowhere because they eventually evolve into arguments. Why do we always end up arguing when we talk about marriage? The answer is quite simple. I refuse to change my last name. He, on the other hand, insists that any woman that he is going to marry will have to change her last name. WTF?! Why? Why would I have to change my last name?

Now you may think that changing your last name after marriage is no big deal. It's just a name. Who cares? Well. IT'S A BIG DEAL TO ME!!! There are several reasons why I REFUSE  to ever change my last name.

1. Because it is MY name.
Yes. It is my name. The name that I have had my whole entire life. That is my name on my high school diploma, all my college degrees, and all my college transcripts. I earned all those with this name. I've received several awards and achievements with this name. You expect me to just give it all up and change it? Growing up, I was very self conscious about my first name because it was not a common name like all the other american girls. My last name is also not very common compared to those in my culture. In fact, I hated my name and wanted to desperately change it. As an adult, I have come to appreciate and embrace the uniqueness of my name, first and last. I'm glad I never changed it because I have come to cherish it. So now that I have finally come to love my name, you want me to change it? No way!

2. It's goes against the traditions of my culture.
I come from a matriarchal society. This means that women do not change their last name after marriage. My mom did not change her last name when she married my dad and this is what I have come to regard as normal. Therefore, I want to uphold the traditions of my people and keep my last name as well. I am proud of who I am and where I came from and I want to show that.

3. I am NOT property, dammit!
So back in the day (when women had no rights), women changed their last name because they were going from their father's house to their husband's house. Therefore, they had to take on their husband's last name because they were now the property of the husband. Wow! With roots like that, I feel that it's kind of a demeaning tradition to upkeep. Yes, I know. It doesn't mean that anymore. But just the fact that it used to mean something so degrading to women makes me so against it. The feminist inside me refuses to conform.  

4. It's too much work.
So to change my last name, I would have to go and change it on my driver's license, social security card, passport, and all my credit cards. Not to mention bank accounts and work related things.Why should I have to go through all that trouble? And. If we were ever to get a divorce or something, I would have to go through all that trouble to change it back. No thank you! Life is too short to waste my time on such nonsense.

5. It just doesn't sound right.
My first name can't just go with any old last name. Honestly, it just doesn't sound right with my BF's last name or any other last name for that matter.

My BF has also mentioned hyphenation. How about I just hyphenate my last name if I don't want to change it completely. Yes, that sounds like a logical compromise, doesn't it? Well, I still think that's kind of dumb. Will he be hyphenating his last name too? Of course not. Also, please refer to reasons one, two, four and five from the above list.

I just don't see why guys make such a big deal about women changing their last names after marriage. Isn't it enough that the children will get HIS last name? Why does his wife need to take his last name as well? I feel that men still secretly regard women as property. Otherwise, why would it matter whether a woman changes her last name or not. Shouldn't she be able to make her own decision without any interference from the husband?

Smoking is Legal but Gay Marriage is Not?

What I don't understand is why it's legal for people to smoke but it's illegal for gay people to get married. Yes, I know what you're thinking. These two things have nothing in common. But I was at a concert last night and this group of people right next to us were practically chain smoking throughout the first set. So the whole time I got big whiffs of their damn cigarette smoke.  And it was very crowded too so it's not like I could just move. But why should I have to move anyway? I was there first and it was a very good spot. Studies have shown that inhaling secondhand smoke is more toxic than actually smoking the cigarette. So secondhand smoke can kill and harm others!

At the same time, I saw a gay couple just a few feet ahead of us and I thought, "Why can't these people get married? Look at them. They're just standing there having a good time and not hurting anyone." Meanwhile, the assholes next to me are depriving me of fresh air and possibly putting me at risk for all types of cancer. I try to live a very healthy lifestyle. I eat healthy, exercise regularly, and stay away from recreational drugs. I also try to minimize my alcohol intake. All so I can live a long and healthy life. And these people think they can just come next to me and blow smoke all up in the same air that I'm breathing? OK. So you smoke your shit once or twice right next to me, whatever. But four, five, six plus times?! Aren't you being inconsiderate of the people around you? I even found it hard to enjoy the concert because of these assholes. Needless to say, they moved closer to the front after the second set and my concert experience improve dramatically.

As I was saying. Why can't gay people get married? What they're doing is not harming anyone. Why is gay marriage wrong? So because a bunch of religious idiots are offended by homosexuals, it makes sense to ban gay marriage as to not offend these people even further? Well you know what? I'm offended by smokers! And I'm pretty sure the Bible does not condone smoking because that's not treating your body like a "temple." Therefore, it should be banned as well. If you want nicotine, you can chew tobacco, not pollute my air with your cigarette smoke.

I remember sitting in the breakroom at a former workplace. Proposition 8 was a big topic at the time. I was in the room with about 10 other people. All of whom approved of prop. 8, reasoning that it was wrong to be gay because it was "unnatural." Wow! I remember having to argue with all those people about the topic.

Unnatural. What's considered natural and what's considered unnatural? A child is born with Down Syndrome. Is this natural or unnatural? Another individual is born with some kind of deformity. Natural or unnatural? A persond is born gay. Unnatural? If these things are considered unnatural, should we strip them of their rights? Tell them because they are born a certain way, they do not deserve the same rights as everyone who is deemed "natural?"

Being left-handed, I sometimes felt like a freak around my right-handed counterparts. They would ask me things like: Why do you write with your left hand? How do you write like that? My usual answer: The same reason you write with your right hand. I was born that way.

Whether you consider homosexuality to be wrong or not, you must overlook your own feelings and beliefs and just do what is right. Is it acceptable to deny the rights of someone who has done no harm to you or anyone else? Is their lifestyle infringing on your own rights? Is their relationship causing you any bodily harm or injury? Hopefully one day people will be able to overlook their own selfish beliefs and just do what is right.